"I don't know what to say..."

Last night, I spoke with a friend. His words, "I don't know what to say to you. This is not something that "Get well soon" covers, but, get well, SOON. And this really sucks." His honesty meant a lot. To express that he was in shock, unable to access the 'right words' because he didn't know what the 'right words' were, but speaking from his heart, meant a lot.

He continued, "I've read your blog three times. Every word. And I still don't know what to say."

I don't know what to say, either. But I'm learning.

We discussed how saying something, saying some caring word or even a trite phrase is better than saying nothing, and ignoring the fact that someone you know is ill won't make it go away.

Try:

"I'm thinking about you." "You are in my thoughts and prayers." And Jeff's text, which really says it all, "Ugh. This sucks."

And others have sent messages such as: "You WILL get through this."

"You are strong." "Kick cancer's ass."

And, honesty: "I cannot imagine what you are going through."

It's okay to send an email or text - it's less emotional.

But know, that there are some days that I really don't want to talk about it either. I just want to feel like me, and therefore the best thing is to just connect. Let me know how my students are doing, or what your kid did that had you angry, or better, made you laugh. Let me know you've read a great book that you thought I'd like and offer to share it. Let me know you are still out there for me.