So tired....

Trying to describe the fatigue I feel is difficult because I don't know what to compare it to.

Sure, I've been tired. But - mentally and physically, simultaneously?

Unable-to-think tired. (Okay, that could be part chemo brain.)

Unable to walk across the house and go to bed tired.

You know how toddlers are so exhausted, they cry? It's like that. Or maybe, new mom tired, can't sleep, guests keep coming, just want to drop...

Today, I was speaking with my radiation nurse, about how tired I am... ...Wondering if this level of "tired" is normal. After all, I am a doer, not a sitter. I believe in action, not inaction.

Heck, I just said to someone the other day, "Status quo won't help you grow."

And Ruth told me that what I am feeling is very normal, and expected.

Then, she gave me a great analogy:

"When people have surgery, we say, 'It takes six weeks to heal.' And people allow themselves to heal because the damage is evident. Every one knows the person needs to rest. You? You had surgery, and couldn't give it six weeks to heal before you had three months of chemo. Your body needed time to heal from that, but you are now given daily radiation. Your body has not had enough of a break to do its job. The fatigue is a sign you need to rest. And heal."

She said it takes most patients two weeks post radiation to get some energy back. I told her I had five days from the end of radiation before I was to see my students again, per an estimated date back to work. And this is a concern. It may not be enough time. I won't be able to sit in a zen-like and recharge. I won't be able to flop on my bed in a zombie-like state, feet hanging off and pass out. Nor will I be able to lie on my sofa, i-pad in hand, eyes closed, and just listen to Leo Majcen or Jonny Lang or Ray LaMontagne because I don't have the energy to do anything else.

And, my skin is a blistering itchy sunburn. Miaderm and hydrocortisone don't seem to be enough.

How long does it take to heal? How long will it take to no longer be exhausted?

Time will tell.

Article about fatigue: Link to article

Fatigue is hard to describe. You feel like you don't have any energy and are tired all the time. But there's not a specific cause, such as doing errands all day, working out, or other exertion. When you're tired from exertion, if you get enough sleep that night, you usually feel better the next day. With fatigue, you feel generally tired all the time and lose interest in people and the things you normally like to do.

Fatigue is the most common side effect of breast cancer treatment. Some doctors estimate that 9 out of 10 people experience some fatigue during treatment. Fatigue from treatment can appear suddenly and can be overwhelming. Rest doesn't ease fatigue and it can last for months after treatment ends.

Information regarding radiation: Link to article

The severity of ARS symptoms depends on the level of exposure. A radiation dose as low as 0.35 Gy could feel a bit like you have the flu—expect nausea and vomiting, headaches, fatigue, and fever. If the body is exposed to a higher dose, somewhere between 1-4 Gy, blood cells begin to die. You could still recover—treatment of this kind of radiation syndrome usually involves blood transfusions and antibiotics—but you could also suffer a weakened immune response due to a drop in white cell count, uncontrollable bleeding due to a lack of platelets, and anemia due to a reduction of red blood cells. You'll also notice a kind of odd sunburn if exposed to 2 Gy or more of ionizing radiation. Technically referred to as acute radiodermatitis, its effects include red patches, peeling skin, and sometimes blistering. Expect it to show up within 24 hours.

And this: Link to article

Your skin reaction may be mild and limited just to these areas, or your skin might have a more dramatic reaction to radiation, covering more of the breast area. This is more likely to occur if:

• Your complexion is fair and you're susceptible to sunburn.

• You've had recent chemotherapy.

As with a sunburn, the skin also may be dry, sore, and more sensitive to touch. Irritation may increase. The skin can sometimes start to peel in a dry way, like an old sunburn, or in a wet way, like a blister. If peeling happens, it tends to be toward the last third of your treatments or later. This peeling will probably be limited to a few areas of the involved skin. If the blister opens, the exposed raw area can be quite painful and weepy.

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