Bang That Gong!

A final day of chemo infusions is a day of mixed emotions.

I look around and see an older gentleman - maybe not much older than me - but cancer has ravaged his body. He's hooked up to oxygen, and is covered in a blanket. He looks gaunt, worn, and cold. Will he get to bang that gong?

A couple stands nearby, he, grasping a walker, his wife lending nearby support. They stand silently, and watch as I do my flourishing finale.

The wife congratulates me. The husband stands silently.

Will he get to bang that gong?

I think to some of the people I've met in Infusion and radiation during the past year. I may have had a seat near them and chatted, albeit briefly. Some were young, too young to wind up with cancer. Will they get to bang the gong?

I'm offered a blanket, pieced together from middle school students from somewhere in the valley. A service project. I decline the bright orange felt - as it is a reminder of a place I'd rather not be, but not the people I've met there.

You see, the employees of the Huntsman - the nurses I've met in Infusion, radiation, and labs - were all exceedingly kind and gracious. In infusion, would barely prop my feet up in the reclining chair in infusion and a warm blanket would be delivered, I'd be asked if I needed anything - water, tea, coffee. They took the time to just talk, and listen. They've heard the stories and complaints of the drugs and side effects hundreds of times, but because they listened, they were aware of "what might work" . Their concern over anything "new" or different was immediately assessed. Quick calls to doctors made, if necessary.

I recall vividly, in part thanks to photographs, my first day at the Huntsman Infusion Center. The ride down to Salt Lake - looking over at the mountains as we drove down the canyon - and the gorgeous sunny day. I was frightened, nervous, anxious, sickened, scared. Was I doing the right thing? Will this give me the best chances of beating a dreaded disease? I recall the empty row of chairs awaiting chemo patients and families. And I know that every day, a new patient, someone much like me, will find themselves sitting in one of those chairs. Experiencing many of those same feelings. But I also know that the staff of this world class medical center will care for them, as they've cared for me and countless others.

Yes, I banged that gong - with a flourish of a grand finale. I grinned widely, in appreciation and admiration of the care I received while a patient there. And I said goodbye - hopefully forever, to cancer.

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