Victoria's Secret

I've thought of writing this post for sometime...as you may have guessed, it has to do with lingerie, specifically, purchasing the "first bra" after a body maiming surgery. This. was. hard.

There was nothing wrong with my old bras. They fit. They were pretty. Some had underwire, some a little contour support. After surgery, I wore elastic based workout tops for almost a year. And then...I dove into my lingerie draw. I was healing mentally, as well as physically, and reaching into that draw was supposed to make me feel "normal" again. But I froze, fingers fidgeting on lacy lingerie. I suppose there were memories connected with some of these beautifully designed Josie Natori's - simply, that they were purchased in my pre-cancer days. I placed my workout top on yet again, and headed to Nordstrom.

I wandered, in between rounders, and found the Natori's. What color? Definitely not pink. I cannot do pink. I searched...

I knew the size should be similar...my back, broader from working out, might be one change. And then...the cups. I no longer was the same exact size on each side. I felt...lopsided. One cup runneth over, full, the other...the breast was totally covered. I tried different styles. I tried different brands. I finally found a bra pretty enough - lacy enough. And then I let it sit in my drawer for weeks, as if to introduce it to those that had been "at rest".

This is something no one speaks of. The difficulty of finding such a personal piece of attire after surgery. Bras aren't made in two different cup sizes. Or in half-cup sizes. Or with one side with a little padding to compensate for what was.

I did a photo session for a female body builder. She work a plunging black workout top. When we finished the shoot, she reached in and removed...cookies. They were magical for her, transformational. And so, I bought a couple (they only come in pairs).

Magical.

#bra #josienatori #awareness #breastcancersurvivor #breastcancerfighter #cancerresearch #breastcancerawareness